Responding to a Depressed Teen
Ask the Experts by Pastor Richard Yeager-Stiver
Q: My teen seems depressed at times and bit of a loner. He appears to enjoy the calm unpressured time that he spends with his peers at church more than he spends with his peers at school. He also seems to have a good relationship with the youth minister and the pastor. If something is bothering him, would they be able to guide him or inform me as a parent if something was seriously wrong?
A: Ethically I treat all information I receive with the utmost respect and confidentiality. The only time I share any information is when any child, youth or adult claims they will harm others or themselves. Naturally, there is a legal responsibility and I believe a responsibility to the community to ensure everyone will remain safe. If I receive information a teen is planning to do harm I invite the parents to have a conference with me.
Some assume that if someone plans on hurting others or themselves they wouldn't tell anyone. However, according to a suicide prevention course I took the research presented showed the majority of youth with plans to hurt themselves or others are more likely to reach out first. If there is something bothering the teen the youth minister's role is to aid the teen in sorting out and articulating what is going on inside them (giving their thoughts and feelings a voice) to the level a pastor is professionally trained for. I have a "toolbox" of phone numbers for counselors and treatment centers when those things are needed.
Assuming the student in this scenario is not clinically depressed I don't see anything wrong with the youth being involved more with his peers at church over his peers at school. It is possible the teen spends more time with his peers at church because they understand him better. To determine if a youth is suffering from depression a mental health professional needs to be consulted. I am not an expert on mental health, but it if appears a teen attending any of our church functions exhibits signs of anxiety or tends to sit in isolation I attempt to figure out why. I attempt to give helpful guidance to the youth and their parents. Depression is a serious illness and should never be ignored.
Rev. Richard Yeager-Stiver is the Pastor of Grosse Pointe Congregational Church in Grosse Pointe. He is an Ordained minister with the United Church of Christ. He has 12 years of pastoral experience serving several churches in Ohio and Indiana. Providing spiritual care for Heartland Hospice and the ER and ICU departments for Ohio Health. Contact Rev. Yeager-Stiver at (313) 884-3075 or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .Visit their web site www.gpcong.org. Grosse Pointe Congregational Church is a member of The Family Center's Association of Professionals.
Rev. Yeager-Stiver will be one of the panelists at the upcoming presentation offered by The Family Center in partnership with members of the Beaumont Coalition.
SAVE the Date
Are Your Teens at Risk? Responding to Youth and Parents
WED. OCTOBER 5, 7pm, Grosse Pointe Congregational Church (240 Chalfonte Ave., Grosse Pointe Farms)
A panel of experts will facilitate a discussion in response to the concerns voiced by our community teens and parents. By pro-actively attending
to the issues raised, we empower adolescents to access their strengths and competencies, effectively access their support system, enhance coping and promote resilient adolescents and families.
RSVP: The Family Center 313.432.3832 or register on-line www.familycenterweb.org
The Family Center, a 501C 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's hub for information, resources and referral for families and professionals. To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.
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