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Alcohol Free Parties

Ask the Experts by Kathy Rager, executive director, CARE

Q:  My 17 year old daughter will be 18 in July and she wants a combination birthday and graduation party.  I know that it is wise to not serve alcohol at teen parties but I am afraid that none of my friends will come.  Alcohol use is legal for adults and I feel that a non alcoholic party punishes me.  I am also concerned that the teens may drink too much and I will get in legal trouble.

A:  I hate to be blunt but I will.  If your friends and YOU view an alcohol free party a punishment, you need to look at your priorities and perhaps, your own alcohol use.  After all this is a party for your daughter and her friends.  It should focus on her accomplishments and what is healthy for her.  Your legal concerns are legitimate.  Many judges are taking seriously the illegal serving of alcohol to a minor. 

If a parent serves alcohol to a minor, even his own child, he is breaking the law.  In Michigan the legal drinking age is 21 years of age.

Michigan parents, under social hoist liability laws, can be responsible for what happens to an underage drinker if they knowingly serve alcohol or leave accessible alcohol in a home and they are not present.  If the teen is in an automobile accident or is otherwise harmed after leaving a home where they have used alcohol, parents can face financial and legal consequences.    A recent case brings to mind a youth who drowned after drinking at a home party.  The parents faced criminal charges as well as a lawsuit filed by the parents of the deceased child.  This does not even address the guilt that can last a life time.

There are some steps that you can put in place to minimize liability.

  • Do not allow an open party. 
  • Know who your child is inviting.
  • Set a definite start and end time.  Chose daytime parties when possible.
  • Set ground rules.  No smoking, no alcoholic beverages or drugs.  
  • No leaving and returning to the party.
  • Certain rooms in your house are off limits.

Kathy Rager, Executive Director at Community Assessment Referral & Education (CARE) and parent educator has provided advice on raising competent, capable children for the last 25 years.   Her advice is based on a formal education, experience with highly stressed families and raising her own three children.  She can be reached at 586.541.0033, This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . 

CARE has recently established a formal relationship with Grosse Pointe Public School District.  This relationship provides an opportunity for parents who have a concern with a child’s mental health or use of alcohol/other drugs to make a confidential appointment with a clinical staff who can assess a student’s mental health and substance abuse issues.   CARE serves Grosse Pointe students ages 5-18.  CARE is located at 21012 Mack Ave, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236.  Contact Lynda Zott, student assistance coordinator, at 313.332.0972. You can learn more about healthy parenting by visiting CARE’s web site at www.careofsem.com. CARE is a member of The Family Center’s Association of Professionals.

The Family Center, a 501C 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's hub 
for information, resources and referral for families and professionals.  

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